When one phase of the journey ends, another phase of the journey begins. Once again my struggles with depression and anxiety have asserted themselves and interrupted a path I had felt called to take -- this time as an active social justice advocate. And once again, my instinctive sanctuary is wandering through the wilderness. I am particularly grateful for the several days I spent last week at the undisclosed location below, where my little turquoise tent is dwarfed by many of the boulders surrounding this sacred spot.
But unnerving how the closer I got to "civilization" en route home, my sense of hope and renewal slipped quickly away. I was so very glad to return to be with my partner Melanie, and our kitty Luna, and our cozy home, but grieving the loss of a sense of union with the wilderness. Why does our species have such an insatiable need to dominate and exploit this mystical planet Earth? I supposed much of it is learned, and then reinforced through cultural norms and values that are ever evangelized to older Earth-respectful cultures.
But unnerving how the closer I got to "civilization" en route home, my sense of hope and renewal slipped quickly away. I was so very glad to return to be with my partner Melanie, and our kitty Luna, and our cozy home, but grieving the loss of a sense of union with the wilderness. Why does our species have such an insatiable need to dominate and exploit this mystical planet Earth? I supposed much of it is learned, and then reinforced through cultural norms and values that are ever evangelized to older Earth-respectful cultures.
Depression is such a baffling illness. Intellectually, rationally, I am a very fit and healthy person blessed with a beloved life partner, a cozy home, caring family and friends. But my heart is heavy with the suffering in the world in which so much of the Earth's ecology and humanity is in shambles. But that is nothing so new, and what good - if any - does it do to feel the pain of what seems like so much mass cruelty, waste and exploitation?
Why can't I just count myself lucky for privileges afforded to me, while working to extend those to others? Would I still experience depression if we weren't killing or destroying each other, exterminating countless species of life forms that have their own unique purpose and right to exist, devastating intact biomes and ecosystems? Would I still struggle with self-esteem if I could manage to retain some honorary title? Or is it truly such a - physiological biochemical neurological - phenomena that none of that would matter? And, will oppression, domination, & exploitation prevail, generally speaking?
Why can't I just count myself lucky for privileges afforded to me, while working to extend those to others? Would I still experience depression if we weren't killing or destroying each other, exterminating countless species of life forms that have their own unique purpose and right to exist, devastating intact biomes and ecosystems? Would I still struggle with self-esteem if I could manage to retain some honorary title? Or is it truly such a - physiological biochemical neurological - phenomena that none of that would matter? And, will oppression, domination, & exploitation prevail, generally speaking?